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the fight is everything: roy

Posted on 2012.11.09 at 01:35
Current Music: Godsmack - I stand alone
This comes out of a PM exchange with another fanfic writer, who asked my thoughts on how integral characterization is to a story.

I offered an example: "In SSB, I think I've written Roy as the protagonist the most. Everything that happens to him is highly dependent on his flaws. I write the stories around his weaknesses and failures. I ended up with a very angry character who was always at war with himself and with the world around him. Much of what I put him through is meant to highlight aspects of himself, both the good and the bad (mostly the bad). Struggling on against failure, against your own character flaws, is a recurring theme in my writing, even though it wasn't intentional."

I have to step back and look at what I've been doing (fanfic is serious business, I know).

* * *

They learned to take him seriously from the first moment he stepped into the ring. Short in stature, a youthful face and a reckless attitude, he didn't look like much, just another kid barely out of adolescence...

But nobody knew. Nobody knew that he had commanded an army, or that he had seen battles of greater intensity than anything they would ever witness in their glamorized stadium.

But they learned quickly. He took their attacks with little fazing and left the mat saturated in their blood.

--Cruel Melee

* * *

Circa 2003. That deserves a facepalm.

Roy was a fairly standard badass. Back when he was hetero and I was committed to keeping everything homo free to cater to a broader audience.

* * *

He wiped at his lip with the back of his hand. It came away with blood....

They had been so confident in themselves. They had underestimated him. This darkness, this hidden place between crumbling structures, half buried in garbage, this hellhole had belonged to them. He wiped his sword with the edge of his cape and sheathed it.

They had mistaken. This place belonged to him too.

--EmptyHand Loser

* * *

Circa 2004.

The Roy that emerged in Chase the Sun is an extension of his EmptyHand Loser persona. Only 10x angrier, more violent and with a greater hatred of authority. And gay.

Roy's greatest character flaw manifests itself in his rivalry with Marth, a fighter who outclasses him, despite his efforts.

* * *

Roy had found out a while ago that he didn't need to be the best. He only had to be better than the other guy. He could stay in the unofficial, unacknowledged, illegitimate caste for as long as he wanted. He could win as long as he knew he was up against a weaker fighter.
--Wings for the Weighted

* * *

His flaw is that his discipline doesn't match his ambition. He has persistence, but he lacks a certain type of willpower. What he wants, he wants badly, but he won't stoop so low as to accept apprenticeship under a figure of authority. To do so would mean surrendering part of his pride and his sense of self-reliance. He can't take orders. Without a teacher, he never improves. He loses, and then he ragequits (3x, 1st in EmptyHand, then in Wings, then again in Chase). Each time, he emerges angrier and more volatile than the last.

In Chase the Sun, he may or may not be on the verge of breaking that cycle, but his failures still hound him. He isn't any better of person, and he persistently shows signs that he may be incapable of change in the ways that are the most important. He chases after Marth, but he can't do it sober. He catches up, but only after his rival is taken down, and taken down hard, by overwhelming forces. An error in judgment cost him his sword arm.

Roy's reached a point where the consequences for failure are mounting. He has less and less room to lose. And yet, he is in many ways still the flawed person he was in the beginning. The outcome is anyone's guess.

* * *

"I said I'll be there. Don't doubt me. It makes me so fucking tired."
--Chase the Sun


ugh yeah

Posted on 2012.10.05 at 03:58
Current Music: Bonnie Pink
WTF am I still doing here?

2 more form rejects, and I'm back in the game. Again. This is starting to look familiar.

It's almost 4 in the morning. I have work in 4 hours. But I'm awake. Listening to Jpop. Trying at this thing. Again.

Skimmed through the SSB section at the pit of voles. Looks like my characterization of Roy is somewhat uncommon for fandom. Marth, Samus, and all the rest, I could have pulled them from a box. Don't know what happened with Roy. Somewhere along the line, he took a triple testosterone shot to the head. Cuz that's how I roll.

I admit, much of what got me started was a reaction to yaoi. A somewhat negative reaction to yaoi. Love it or hate it, either way, you can't miss that it's an endless parade of tropes. And I guess, for a lot of folks, that's the appeal. They want the trope. It does something for them. I'm not one to get in the way of someone else's fun, but I still couldn't help having a reaction against it.

So, now I do this. It's my anti-yaoi? Something, maybe.

The yuri is something else, and it's proving to be a challenge.

Still too chickenshit to write an explicit gay sex scene. But hey, plenty of room for mindless violence posing as artistic representations of the human condition.

Lol. Fanfic. Wtf.

meaningless without you

well you were expecting that

Posted on 2012.02.01 at 23:30
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: "Sober" - Tool
I hope no one was taking that deadline seriously. Apologies, when real life calls, I have to answer. Working on the next chapter, hopefully done in another week.

In the meantime, random fanart findings:

http://fav.me/d2yogkp (PG level gay)



http://fav.me/d3dx1hb (Blood warning? Kinda)

Don't know if this is official or doujinshi, but:

Looking at fanart or official art sometimes grounds me because my mind tends to distort the images of the characters when I write them. The next SSB game is in development, and I haven't touched Brawl in a long time, sadly (fond memories though). During the course of writing "Chase the Sun," I forgot that most people image Roy as a kid (if we're talking yaoi, then a "girly" kid). His character design in Melee doesn't contradict that interpretation all that much. You're more likely to find pictures of him in a pink dress than of him kicking ass. (If that's your thing, then yay, I'm not hating, but you gotta admit that all of fandom is pretty loltastic.)

And don't get me started on the difficulties of finding decent yuri art. The few yuri fics I come across tend to surpass most yaoi in quality. The art on the other hand...eh, well, I'm guessing most of you understand the trials of adolescence.

Makes me wonder, again, what the fuck I'm doing here. A lot of people have moved on already. I wasted what little spare time I had these last few weeks working on the rejected story mentioned in the previous post. Couldn't give up on it, even though, truthfully, it isn't salvageable.

Painfully, the realization is that maybe after all this time spent here I still haven't learned anything or progressed as a writer. I read things other than fanfiction, of course, but, who knows, maybe it isn't enough. And I don't have any more time to spare on books than what I already spend. Literature tends to be an affluent hobby, and I've been thinking that I'm not really a part of that class. The reason I don't have time to read is because I spend that time working and taking vocational courses.

Some things aren't meant to be. No use being emo, I guess. Someday, we'll wake up and smash things and laugh about it later, about how we almost looked into the sun, almost--

We, poets of the broken bottle.


"you won't know what you're worth now, son / until you take a hit"

Posted on 2011.12.24 at 16:40
Current Mood: hungryhungry
In the months of May to November 2011, I was working on an original short. One form rejection later (making it a total of 5 in my attempts at a professional "career"), I'm back in my old stomping grounds, the slums of online fanfiction. Time now to consider newer and better ways of fucking up. My ego is in repair mode. Might as well be productive in the meantime.

The new deadline for the next chapter of "Chase the Sun" is January 31st, 2012.

Happy Holidays, to those who celebrate it.

Game on, bitches.


before we can rest, the black knight must die

Posted on 2011.06.03 at 03:58
"It seemed hard to believe that the world could be made of anything else other than fathers who died and left behind their work, unfinished. Or sons with heads full of vengeance and regrets, lessons from childhood (once ignored or misunderstood) now taken to heart."

Sometimes I get the sense that the longer I stay here, the longer I prolong my already over-extended adolescence.

I've been working on original fiction, which is why my updates have slowed. But I've re-committed myself to ending this detour that has lasted longer than it should.

"The girl tripped over her dress and tumbled into a ravine."

You can thank Sakurai for that, Zelda.

I skimmed some of the earlier chapters. The whole thing kind of reads like a mess.


the source

Posted on 2010.11.02 at 00:34

So, apparently Wong Kar-Wai's 1994 film, Ashes of Time, was "re-made" back in 2008. I say "re-made" because that's the word everyone else used, but it's more like "re-mastered." The original material was retrieved in damaged condition after the database that housed it went bankrupt during the Asian financial crisis in the late 90s. Over the course of a number of years, the film was restored from copies. Ashes of Time: Redux was released in 2008.

And, of course, I didn't hear about it until 2010. Maybe now I can finally own a copy of this movie. I do want to see the redux version, but my heart lies with the grainy original:

I post the redux trailer first because it makes the most sense for noobs.

Ashes consists almost entirely of brooding swordsmen moping around and waxing poetic about love and angst in between frenzied fight scenes in which you can barely see what's going on. Everyone has hair covering their faces all the time. It was emo before emo even had a name.

The movie is alledgedly based off of characters from a book called The Legend of the Condor Heroes by Jin Yong. From what I hear, the director took drastic liberties with the characters.

Wong Kar-Wai doesn't make martial arts movies. Ashes of Time was his only one. Sort of like Ang Lee and the better known Crouching Tiger. But the two movies are hard to compare, for me. They differ drastically by mood. (In my humble opinion, Ashes is superior...or maybe just superiorly emo. >_>)

Wikipedia calls Jin Yong the bestselling Chinese writer alive(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jin_Yong), and he is commonly regarded as the finest wuxia writer of all time.

Predictably, I've not read a single one of his works.

But why am I bringing that up here? Because if you go see this movie, you won't need to read the rest of Chase the Sun. And half the shit I threw in there won't even seem the least bit original.

I am a serious biter, fool. Best come clean niao before anyone figures it out.

About Chase the Sun: 2nd revision up. Had to fix the messy line breaks that randomly occurred in the middle of paragraphs. Added more at the end, just in case you all forgot that these fuckers are gay in my perverse world.

The future of this project is yet to be determined. I may update this blog later. Or I may just write other long chapter and get on with this show. It's only been 3 fucking years.


just throw blood onto a canvas

Posted on 2010.05.29 at 00:58
And call it art.

Or, "Things you'll never see in an El Nino1 fic."

Something I re-discovered today out of nerves, anxiety and emo:

From the one they call Monty Oum:

Dated 2007. Project still ongoing. Parts 1-5 are completed. Part 6 forthcoming at some point in the future.

2007? I wonder what else happened that year.

Other things you won't find in an El Nino1 fic:

because I have no use for posingCollapse )


my fandom is on crack

Posted on 2010.05.27 at 01:28
Current Mood: predatorypredatory
And so can you:

No, don't ask me to explain that.

I don't know what anime they're spoofing.

Less cracky, but no less obsessive:

I guess that would be SSB in the spirit of Tales of Symphonia. The uploader on Youtube is not the original fan-creator. The description links to the original: http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm4265500

One day, I hope to jump the shark. Whether beautifully, or in a train-wreck fashion. Maybe I already have. How deep is too deep? Or is that a stupid question?

(P.S. Chase the Sun updated, finally.)

meaningless without you


Posted on 2010.03.08 at 02:29
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: "hollow heroes separate as they run"
I think this could work as a visual representation of the events in Chase the Sun:

Give or take a few alterations.

If any of you would like to know how things have been going on that front, just know that they aren't going at all. I don't get writer's block; or, if I did, it'd mean that I have it all the time. But now, things are severe, and it's a combination of various issues from real life. Personal shite. I'll spare you all the details.

Deviantart is a good way to pass time while being unproductive, and it yielded some generous offerings this time around.

Marth+Ike in all it's PG-13, probably still NSFW, glory:

And this:

I feel I have to point out that there's a difference between blocking cock and taking cock. But w/e.

Also found this:

It's an SSB fan comic started in 2007; it stopped getting updates in 2009, but what's there is worth a look. For one: Ice Climbers as lead characters.

While reading comments on that site, came across some who prefer portrayals of Marth and Roy that are "not gay."

And there you go, Nino. That's your calling, ain't it? Roll up the sleeves and put up your dukes.

Those be fightin' words, brah.

And now we go to work.


Chase the Sun update, ch. 11

Posted on 2010.01.05 at 02:25

It's one of those things you know you're gonna regret in the morning.

It's been over a year since the last update. This project has been two years in the making.

What. The. Fuck.

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